What’s the effect of the full moon on you? Is Ms. Luna making you, things or people a little “looney”? Feeling eclipsed by someone or something?
Whether or not you feel a little (or a lot) at the effect of the moon (or others who are, act like they are or simply believe they are) – when you feel yourself transform into a raging, lunatic werewolf ready to pounce, you can always try this as an antidote:
- Breathe – – – Think – – – and THEN act (SCUBA diving rule – works above water as well as when breathing from a tank…). Create more space for your breath even when, or especially when, you are in the presence of another (works too when the other is just present in your head and seemingly planing a siege of your mind…). “Breathe out the bulls$%* – then breathe in the good….” Ahhhhhhh….
- Sing. Roar. Move. Dance. Go boxing or join KravMaga – it’s carthartic… Exercise and act out your tension in a healthy way (watch your limits though, so that your inner werewolf doesn’t turn against you… or your ankle, your ACL, shoulder, or lower back… etc awareness is key)
- Notice when you are becoming reactive – and just don’t… take a time out and respond when you’re out of werewolf mode and back in your adult, human center…
- Practice not taking comments, nagging, criticism, gossip or actions of others personal, even when they are directed right at you. They are usually more about the person expressing it than you – and they become personal when you take them in.
- Ask “Is this mine?”
- Think what’s actually an observable fact? Vs what’s my thought/interpretation of the situation, or what is an emotional reaction? And how did the three become entangled that I feel like I HAVE TO Re-Act? Sometimes just naming things and sorting them into these three categories helps to snap out of immediate reactive mode…
- Ask “What’s good about this?” – not as a distraction, or to bypass an uncomfortable situation, but to detach a little and become less identified with the sense of discomfort (… to whatever degree…). I find that this questions allows me to gain a wider perspective, and things become a little more objective and less personal.
- Don’t believe everything that you think or feel. – That’s a skill and a practice: There is a fine line between “containing your inner experience (or werewolf) in a healthy way” and pushing it down/skipping over it or holding it in (until it comes out as an ulcer or something else)… It’s training your mind as you would leash-train a puppy, with the right mix of patience, firmness and compassion – the best outcome is that you are both in partnership on your walk, heading in the same direction with ease; worst outcome: one or both of you need rabies shots after being dragged against the resistance, kicking, screaming and…
Hi Martina ,
so I heard that you can help people control their temper but how do you keep calm especially if you are a were-wolf with anger issues ?
please can you get back to me on this
That’s a great question, thank you for asking it.
That’s a great question, thank you for asking it.
In my coaching practice I look at anger in a couple different ways:
1. Like all feelings, anger is a universal human experience, and at the same time very individual. Each of us get angry in our own unique ways: the situations to which we respond with anger, how we feel it and express it are as unique as your fingerprint.
2. Anger can become a great source of “fuel for change” or transformation for you, once you learn to relate to your own anger in a new way.
3. In my experience, controlling any emotion is a futile goal – the more we resist or fight a feeling, the bigger and stronger they seem to get. The good news is: you can learn to relate to your feelings differently, and then even the most uncomforatble ones can become a great source of information – rather than you being at the effect of them. How do you do that?
4. I have a variety of tools available that I offer my clients – yet the most effective way is for us to have a conversation, so we can take a closer, individual look at what’s going on underneath that anger for you.
5. In my experience, anger is often a way of blowing of steam when a lot of unresolved patterns of emotion have been tucked away for a long time – and have been accumulating. We call that “unresolved Grief”: When you look at the definition of grief as “the conflicting feelings that come up at the end of or change of a familiar pattern of behavior or life” – you can imagine how anyone of us has had a lot of opportunities to grieve lately, with all the changes in our world, lives, and lifestyles. (You can download my ebook for more information about that). And most of us have received unhelpful information of how we “should” cope with or handle our grief. The good news is: there are steps you can learn and take that will completely change your relationship to anger, loss and temper…
I would love to invite you into a (complementary) conversation, so I can help you better and more personally than in a post: https://martinahmeyer.as.me/DiscoveryCall
Much love from my heart to yours,